The Servant's Journey . . .

2009-01-04T13:38:00.001-08:00

Exodus Cry:The Mission Briefing from Exodus Cry on Vimeo.

My heart is being stirred. It's beginning to burn to see JUSTICE for these precious ones.

Lord, give me more of your heart for them. Teach me to see your friends as you see them.

The weekend.

2008-10-06T21:14:00.001-07:00

So this weekend we all went "camping". Because we didn't really go camping I decided to make a campsite for us. In our living room I hauled some trees in and decided to get creative.

Notice the Moon and Stars

That was are make shift campfire

Then we went to Dunn-Bros for Coffee... I think they cut me off from the coffee at this point...

Always time for hugs.. Or tired legs

Then we went Apple Picking. In this picture we went in the store at the Orchard and there was some crazy music playing so we decided to dance.

Then we ALL decided to dance.... Lets just say we made a big scene in the middle of a store filled with people

Oh, the tasting of the apples

Mmmmmm

I found an apple with a butt...

Oh.. to be fully known

2008-10-05T17:25:00.000-07:00

Our deepest desire is to be known. Our deepest fear is that when we are fully known we will not be loved.

It says in the bible that perfect love casts out all fear. What if love is what you fear?

I have learned more about love in these past 9 1/2 months than I have my whole entire life.

I have come to a place where I am ok with being fully known. Don't get me wrong it still hurts, but I am ok with fully being known.

Through an amazing bunch of ladies I have realized that the commandment Love your neighbors as yourself should only flow out of the place of Loving the Lord with all your heart. We seem to skip the first and run to the second commandment.

I never thought I would gain 9 sisters but I have. I have fallen in love with each and every one of them.

Kyndra, Bonnie, Jessie, Laura, Katelyn, Rachelle, Amy, Brianna and Sasha... You girls truly bless me and it is an honor to call you family. Thank you for showing me the Father's heart.

Next Year

2008-10-01T16:48:00.000-07:00

It has been an amazing time here at Bethany College of Missions. I can't believe I only have 2 1/2 months left.

I hate this time for many reasons... I hate the fact that the family (all my sisters) I have gained while being here at BCOM will be leaving in December. I don't like this transition period of wondering what I am going to be doing come next year. (Sometimes I wish God would just speak audibly to me.)

I don't know what I am doing next year. I do, but I don't. I had a few options presented to me last week that would be a way of working around and with what I really want to do next year. On campus we have a prayer ministry that God has put a burning passion in my heart to be a part of. Leadership here came up with a couple of ways that I could slowly work into being a part of that prayer ministry. The first option was being a mentor next January. A mentor basically oversees a group of 6-9 girls that are going to school here. You meet one on one with them, encourage them, pray with them etc... The second is going for some specific training in Canada called Singing Waters Ministry and taking an intense 3 month course called Isaiah 61 and then returning back to BCOM.

I really don't know which one to do. I have prayed about it, but am waiting. The Isaiah 61 school is kind of expensive and I don't know where I would get the money from and the mentoring position I don't know if I am really ready to be in charge of 6-9 girls spiritual "development" for an entire year.

I was telling a good friend of mine here at BCOM that I feel inadequate and weak for both these options and that God graciously reminded me that I am indeed inadequate and weak, but through His strength I am adequate and strong... and only through His strength. He brings me to my knees every time He reminds me of this. Once again I am humbled before Him and feel strength arise as I focus on Him and nothing else.

Charlie Bit My Finger...

2008-09-27T00:29:00.001-07:00

Watch

2008-09-05T19:16:00.001-07:00

This includes the testimony behind the song!!

This version sounds better.. because he wasn't crying (in case you want to listen to it)

Prank!

2008-08-03T11:23:00.001-07:00

This lady is our Advisor here at BCOM and last week she and some other girls soaked me with water balloons and then the next day this lady went out and bought a super-soaker and was waiting for me after I came out from lunch... Revenge is sweet :) We had a lot of fun pranking her back, but I may not live to see next week!

"It's Much Safer"

2008-07-28T19:26:00.000-07:00

So lately God has been speaking to me a lot on what I am going to be doing next year. I know I will be staying at BCOM for another whole year, but I wasn't sure what that was going to look like until now.

A couple of weeks ago God spoke that I would be working with a particular lady here on campus. I thought it would be great for next year... I thought maybe I could ask her to disciple me once a week or if that was too much... possibly once a month. Quickly, God challenged me to let Him develop what it would look like. I began to pray and fast and He told me that He didn't want me to just be discipled once a month, but He wanted me to ask for a Full-time internship underneath her and the ministry.

This really was an intense answer from Him. I realized that if I would have went a week earlier when I first knew that God was leading me this particular direction I would have went out of my own weakness and I would have been scared. My weakness would have resulted in not wanting to ask to much. God wanted me to wait. He wanted me to see His plan for this. He wanted me to finally go in weakness, but in weakness where His strength shines.

After knowing that I was going to ask for a full-time internship I waited a couple more days in prayer. I then felt like God was telling me to go in humility and weakness and not give any background story and to plainly ask for a full-time internship. He was asking me to let His word be enough and to let His strength come forth. It was intense. For those of you who know me KNOW that I almost always have to give background stories to how I have reached a particular conclusion etc . . .

After all of this I received an e-mail from a particular person asking me to seek God in what He wants the next year to look like, what He wants the ministry to look like etc . . . I only had thought up to the point of asking for the internship. At the moment I freaked and told God that it wasn't what I signed up for. I didn't sign up for a huge part in a ministry. I signed up to sit underneath someones wisdom next year and to hopefully soak in all that He wanted me to.

God quickly gave me peace and reminded me that the past two months I had been asking Him to hear His voice more. So in reality I did sign up for this. These questions can't be answered unless I diligently seek Him for the answers.

Some of you are wondering, "why the dairy queen video?" Well it was mainly because I absolutely found it hilarious! And the second reason is because the part where the guy says, "It's much safer."

Sometimes, "it's much safer" to stick with the things that are easiest. Sometimes "it's much safer" to only go so far with God's plan for your life and then say, "I didn't sign up for this part." This is going to be a tough road.. an amazing one. I am sure there will be many tongues stuck in mixers and many times I will want to go the "much safer" route, but I am excited to go down the road of growth. I am excited to see His will in all of this.

For His Glory,
Rachele

Deeper . . .

2008-07-18T21:41:00.000-07:00

I was just talking with a good friend of mine about my surface level blogging. There is a lot going on with me and a lot I would love to share. She said that she had the same question come up last year when blogging; How surface level should I be? How deep should I actually go? I mean, in reality you control how vulnerable you want to be, how much of your life you actually want people to know and understand. I haven't quite figured out my balance, but I am going to take it one blog at a time and atleast challenge myself in going deeper.

Take a deep breath, here we go.............

I really feel like the Lord has been speaking on specific things about what He is calling me into. It is a long story of how this all came about (I will spare you all the details) mostly it was spending time in prayer, in silence. To be completely honest this silence thing went against everything in my flesh... still does. Coming to a place where I can be content to just sit in the presence of the Lord and say nothing for hours has been amazing in my walk with Him. To some this sounds like I am a "Jesus Freak" I am ok with that title.

As I began waiting on the Lord He has begun to turn my desires and passions on FIRE. I am no longer just aware of these passions, but now they are BURNING and wanting to be heard. I have a heart for people, I have a heart for kids, I have a heart for people who are hurting. This passion of loving people has taken a new turn... I am beginning to feel the Lord's heart for people who are hurting, I am wanting to see freedom in their lives, I am wanting them to fully come into the Father's Love and Freedom. The verse that Jesus has been speaking to me over and over is

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners" Isaiah 61:1

I know that He is calling me into this. He is calling me to stand beside the brokenhearted and to help the captives proclaim freedom, freedom through Him! I don't know what shape or form this will take in the years to come... I have an idea, but I will continue to wait on Him before I write more about this

Because of Him.

2008-06-24T20:45:00.001-07:00

If I work hard enough.. I can prove to Jesus I want Him

2008-06-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: I apologize a head of time for my grammar, punctuation etc... (or lack there of) ;-)

Have you ever had something so precious to you that you want to tell everyone, but at the same time you don't because you feel like you couldn't explain it to the depths of how it has impacted you. Fear strikes you because you want other people to know so bad, but you don't speak in fear that it might not impact them the way it does to the core of your own being.

I really feel like that jumbled communication since I have been at BCOM. God is showing me a lot and I am seeing "hidden treasures" and I want everybody to come into Rachele world for a moment and look around (it's not that scary) but always wondering if it will impact the way I so deeply want it to. So today I am trusting Jesus that this message will reach you.

Even now as I attempt to write I am not sure what I am going to share... My mind is exploding, hence the need for blogging. So I will continue to strut the keys and see if I can't show you a little inside of my little world...

I seem to have come across an epiphany, one of many that I have had lately. This particular one is something you think every Christian should know and every Christian should eventually believe. For me I knew in the distance that it was true, but when it came down to it I ultimately didn't believe.

A lot of times we have the desire to know Christ more, we have the desire to live by His commandments and we have a desire to love prayer. A lot of times we find that we have the will but we lack the ability and because of this we find ourselves in a state of trying to do more in order to feel more spiritual. I mean really, how many times do we feel far from God, but we want to be close so we start to read our bibles more? Start going to more Christian events etc...? Here's the epiphany... STOP doing those things, they do not bring you closer to God. In fact that is NOT His will for us.

In Romans 8:1-6 talks about the old law, as in the old testament there were laws we had to obey, but we could not fulfill the righteous requirements of these laws and therefore the offering of animals was put in place of our sins against these laws. Many of us still try to live by these laws; we still see Christianity as a bunch of laws we have to follow in order to see Christ's face. NO! UGH! Can I express it in any other words that look like groans... ajfofjaijf;fjaojefo;ajef;ofje yup.. I think that summed up my passion for this truth. The enemy wants us to think that we have to work in order to see Jesus, or we have to make ourselves worthy, or prove and show Jesus how much we are willing to work to "feel" Him. Listen to the truth of this next scripture Romans 8:1-6

"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. (Christ Jesus has set us free from the LAW and we now live by the law of the spirit) For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, (we are weak in the flesh and are unable to obtain righteousness through our own strength when it comes to obeying the law)on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace."

Ahhhh, do you see? We do not have to try hard to reach Jesus, we don't have to live by the law and do all these things in hopes that He will meet us, but rather we are PROMISED that if we live according to the Spirit we will be able to obtain righteousness. When we live in the Spirit we will want the things of the Spirit. This is by no means saying that the Law is void, but rather it is saying quit trying to follow the law because you have the will but you do not have the power to obtain it but when you live according to the Spirit, the Spirit will give you that power.

Wow, this post is really long. Stay with me.

What does this mean for all of us? It means we don't have to read our bibles, go to our meetings, do X,Y and Z before we can see Jesus. What this is saying in Romans 8 is that through the Spirit, right now, we can see Jesus. Quit doing works and simply ask Jesus to show you and lead you through the Spirit and with that will come the things of the Spirit like praying, reading the bible etc... Ask the Spirit to give you a love for those things, to not make it a chore. God doesn't want these things to be a chore, even though sometimes we sure feel like He wants it to be.

God will meet us, God wants to meet us. He wants us to give up our ways and simply say, "Spirit Help, I'm done trying to do it by my own works."

*Blue stuff I added to help you understand, hopefully it worked...

Storm

2008-06-02T11:05:00.000-07:00

These 3 pictures were after the storm.. We were enjoying the warm rain and the beautiful rainbow!

This is Sasha, she is from Indonesia

Me and Sasha being crazy as always

My roommate Jessie and Sasha

This past weekend I got to see a beautiful storm roll in!! Here are some pictures... There was a tornado warning in Minneapolis, but later it was cancelled and reported that there was not a tornado siting.

Picnic and Baptism

2008-05-20T14:34:00.000-07:00

Thought I would share a few pictures. Sunday after church a few of us went on a picnic and later that day my friend Jessie got baptised!!

Praise and Worship After Baptism

Nicole Leading Worship

My Mentor's Head :)

Jessie Giving Her Testimony

Praying Before Baptism
Can You Tell The Water Is Freezing??
Dunkarroooo
Brrrr

Us Having a Picnic
Summer

2008-04-21T14:12:00.000-07:00

4 days until I leave for Michigan!!!! I can't wait to see everyone!

Fresh Air!

2008-04-06T17:09:00.000-07:00

This weekend was great, the weather was beautiful. On Thursday I went for a two hour bike ride, Friday I went for almost a two hour walk with my roommate Jess, and on Saturday we went for a walk and ate Chinese and then sat on our porch the WHOLE entire day. It was so relaxing. Oh, and I can't forget that we practiced our pitching skills with M&Ms... We could see our Mentor's window open from our porch so we played target practice all day, but our Mentor never noticed.. (or maybe she was ignoring us) either way it was fun.

Saturday night at about 12:30 I decided I really needed to get out and go for a walk, so I did. I spent some time with JC, some well needed time. I had been avoiding Him for the past three days, well I don't know if I would call it avoiding, but I definitely needed time to think about tough decisions He was asking me to make. I wanted to know without a doubt where I stand on those issues. Sometimes its so easy to run to God and say, "Yes, all for you, no matter what." and then a week later I find myself contemplating the same questions... So I spent some time to think about those questions and really looked deep into myself to see if I was ready to commit, so weeks later I could still say, "Yes, all for you, no matter what!"

One thing that I realized when I was spending time with Him, besides curfew was in about 10 minutes, was how He speaks to me. He loves me that much that he speaks and wants to wreck my life for Him. I love that about Him, I love that he won't let me continue doing the same things I've always done, I love that He loves me enough to cut me off and redirect me. It's still hard to accept His love, but more and more I am grasping it.

Because of Him, Raychil.

Silence

2008-03-27T17:45:00.001-07:00

I sit in awe of God... Truely...

A couple of days ago a friend of mine said she was praying, asking a lot of questions and hearing from God. She said that she asked God, "Do you have anything for my friend Rachele." and He said, "Not for you to tell her. I want to tell her myself."

Wow.

She didn't realize how much that impacted me, days later and I am still thinking about it.... God wants to tell me HIMSELF... wow. I never really thought about God being excited about me, let alone Him wanting to tell me something himself because he loves talking to me...

So I sat quietly today, actually I layed out on my bedroom floor, and asked Him to tell me whatever he's been waiting to tell me. I sat for a long time, quiet, and I heard Him... Oh boy did I hear Him.

This past week and a half I felt like God was calling me into more time with Him... I wasn't sure why I felt such a huge desire, but it was because he wanted to speak with me. It use to be such a chore to find time with God, but now it is simply happening and it is amazing!

I so often forget that communication is two ways and that sometimes I need to just be silent before the Lord.

Song by Rich Mullins

2008-03-17T13:25:00.000-07:00

"Well sometimes my life just don't make sense at all

When the mountains look so big

And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf

You have been King of my glory

Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark

It's so hot inside my soul

I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf

You have been King of my glory

Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me

I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want

Than to take what You give that I need

And I've beat my head against so many walls

Now I'm falling down I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn

And Your grace rings out so deep

It makes my resistance seem so thin

I'm singing hold me Jesus 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf

You have been King of my glory

Won't You be my Prince of Peace

You have been King of my glory

Won't You be my Prince of Peace "

16 month internship site released!!!

2008-03-07T16:27:00.001-08:00

As most of you know I am studying at New Tribes Bible Institute for a year and then I have the opportunity to continue with the program by going on a 16 month internship overseas. They have announced our site!!!! Here is the following letter from the director giving more details!

Dear January Students,

I didn't want you to be left out of all the fun today, so you should at least get some news!

Because you are a small group, we have decided that we can only create on single Global Internship site for you. You will be given the opportunity to apply for that site toward the end of this term.

Today we officially reveal to you that the site is Chiang Mai, Thailand.

Chiang Mai is situated close to what is known as the "Golden Triangle," the place where Myanmar (Burma), Laos, and Thailand come together just a very short distance from the southern border of China. This is an area of great diversity in small ethnic groups spread out over a wide semi-mountainous area.

Our Bethany Missionaries in Chiang Mai work with one of those groups, and often travel back and forth to Southern China, one is a Bible translator, the other is a member of one of the tribal groups and came to the Lord in Southern China. Prior to their meeting she was an itinerant evangelist for her home church group and still travels into her home region often. They have connections with many ministries doing a wide range of ministry work within the area.

Chiang Mai will afford you opportunities to work on the cutting edge of Buddhist-Chinese world. Neighboring Myanmar is also one of the most closed and undreached countries in the region. WE hope to give you opportunities to travel into Southern China as well Learning there will prepare you in many ways for any future opportunity in ministry, but will give you keen insight into this strategic mission frontier.

I do need to caution that while we are announcing this now, and do not foresee any obstacles to this, we recognize that between now and this summer when you are going through the application process things could change.

Please be in prayer as to whether God is calling you to this exciting challenge. We realize that this might take you a whole different area of the world than what you might have hoped. Subit that prayerfully to God and seek to hear him on it!

Paul Hartford
Director, Global Internship

Little Girl

2008-03-04T19:27:00.000-08:00

How I miss that little one...

I miss the way she called me, "rae rae"

I miss the way she got so excited over having
chocolate milk :)

I miss how she would run away from me when I tried
to change her diaper because she thought it was funny

I miss her big hugs and her, "God bless you"

I miss her trying to pull one over on me
right before nap time...

I miss her squinting eyes when she belly laughs

I miss the way she leaped for joy
when her mommy would come upstairs

I miss playing hide and seek and here her giggle

I miss the long walks we would take together
and when she would see a bus... oh her excitement

I miss her telling me to, "Drive faster rae rae"

I miss playing in the "rain" with her

I miss singing raindrops falling on my head

I miss singing the I Love You song

.........

I miss her tones.

I was reading through my little box of blessings and I came across one that said, "May there always be a little Rae Rae in Koa and a little Koa in Rae Rae."
There will always be a little Koa inside of me...

Package of love

2008-02-14T12:50:00.000-08:00

I was walking out of a meeting that I had today and at the front desk there is always a neatly typed list of names for those who received packages and I always check so I can let my roomies know if they have anything. I never assumed I would ever get anything, I was shocked when I saw my name on that list. I ran with the package back to my dorm faster than I have ever ran before :)

I have never opened a box so full of love... I wanted to share. Here are some pics :)

Roommates

2008-02-09T15:51:00.000-08:00

BCOM Life

2008-02-01T18:54:00.000-08:00

Pause for a picture after playing

Broom Ball

We were procrastinating on our homework and decided to

start a game on our Mentor's dry erase board... this is what we came up with (it started with a circle)

Waiting to go play Broom Ball

Me and Sasha (She is from Indonesia)

Frozen Bubbles

2008-01-25T11:41:00.000-08:00

Did you know it's cold here in Minnesota? Or as my friend likes to call it MinneSNOWta. This past weekend it was -30 degrees... yup... -30 degrees. One of my roommates bought bubbles and we blew them outside that night. Did you know that at -30 bubbles FREEZE???!!! Who would have thunk. It was so fun. The pictures don't do it justice.

2008-01-16T21:46:00.001-08:00

Today I had a 5 hour break with nobody else around. Normally that would bite, but in the case of good 'ol homework it was fantastik! I was all excited and got all nice in cozy in my chair at my desk and even had a nice little piece of choco-late to start me into my deep study.... then I hit a brick wall. I tried and tried to get into God's word and answer my homework questions but I couldn't do it... Finally I wrestled with God. I spent some time just asking him... or I guess fist fighting Him as to why I couldn't focus... I felt like something was weighing on my heart or perhaps I did something wrong. I was frustrated and then... I started crying. I didn't realize I had a lot built up in me and I just started crying and at that moment I just felt God saying, "let it out". That was it... God just knew what was deep in my heart, he knew I needed a nice crying session he didn't give me any cool verse, he didn't give me any big word, but he simply just embraced me and let me cry. It was nice.

LOVE

2008-01-16T21:44:00.000-08:00

Today I felt like God was telling me something and it went a little like this, "How are you to give love if you don't first get it from me. Beloved, look at me and let me love you. I love you"Today me and my roomies decided to go to a church in the city that some of our friends were going to and so we set off on our little adventure . . . An hour later and we still couldn't find the church and at this point we all decided to go back to campus and go to Bethany (this is the church on campus) on the way back we all kind of communicated that we felt like God was detouring us back to Bethany for a reason and little did we know what he had in store.God promised me last week that he was going to begin wiping out my ideas about love, my very tainted views of love and fill them with His truth of love. That began today at church... The message at Bethany Church had a lot packed into it but God's annointing was on the speaker and everything connected. My time here at Bethany has been amazing even though the days have been few. God is stripping me and he is shaking everything that can be shaken. And he is piecing the pieces back together. When I arrived at Bethany I was so confused as to who I was, but I am now finding out who I am in Christ and Him alone. God is dealing with my past and preparing me for the future at the same time. I am overwhelemed with joy.I think each and every one of us has this deep yearning to be loved. I URGE you to come back to the one who is love so that you may know true love.I go back to the word I heard from God today, "How are you to give love if you don't first get it from me. Beloved, look at me and let me love you. I love you"I haven't been much of a touchy feely person, but I always wished I could be. I always prayed that I could show people what was TRUELY on my heart; how much I loved them, but then I would try and I would get stuck because I don't do good with being affectionate, whether thats giving or receiving love. But God is teaching me to be one of those people. I first must receive TRUE LOVE from the Lord then only can I truely accept love for what love truely is. LET HIM LOVE YOU. YOU ARE HIS BELOVED!

2007-12-31T17:17:00.000-08:00

HERE I COME!

Sunday

2007-11-20T06:17:00.001-08:00

On Sunday we went four wheeling and dirt biking again... I LOVE IT!! We went to a new place that has lots of trails and I got in a wreck with the quad.. it hurt.

life

2007-11-20T06:17:00.000-08:00

Living in two different worlds... I feel trapped. God, help me. Please don't give up on me.

News!

2007-11-16T15:01:00.000-08:00

Drum rolllllllllllllllllllllllllllll please!!!!!!!!

"Hey, Rachele! Just wanted to let you know right away that we received your last application component and you are accepted to Bethany for the spring 2008 term! Congratulations!"

I received this in an e-mail this morning from my advisor at Bethany College of Admissions and I am sooooo excited.

You can check out my school at http://www.bcom.org/

Fun Weekend!

2007-11-04T19:49:00.000-08:00

Michael-Luis Jumping The FourWheeler

Dwight and His Dirtbike

Pose

Dwight Jumping Dirtbike

The Weekend

2007-10-23T15:33:00.000-07:00

Nikki Playing Some Pool

My little brother is good at pool

Nikki and ML

We had a lot of fun playing pool

Dorks

Just a thought...

2007-10-05T19:40:00.002-07:00

Isn't non-denominational a denomination?

Amen.

2007-10-04T11:48:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 58:6 (new living translation)

“No, this is the kind of fasting I want:
Free those who are wrongly imprisoned;
lighten the burden of those who work for you.
Let the oppressed go free,
and remove the chains that bind people."

Went For A Drive

2007-10-02T16:12:00.000-07:00

I was really frustrated today... Sometimes I don't know how to deal with the anger that rages inside of me so I run away from the circumstance at hand and go for a drive... and sometimes I take photos... It helps to calm me

Serving...

2007-09-23T09:40:00.001-07:00

Today our church broke up into groups and went out into our community. Last week we did the same thing and went around our community praying. This week we handed out food and next week we will be working with our community on their houses, yards, porches etc... Our community that our church in is broken..

I love how are church is BEING the church Christ called churches to be. Just like Jericho was destroyed so will the bondage's of the Edison Community. God's glory is being delivered!!

Today me and this guy named Nic, whom I just met, went together to deliver food to people. This is actually an interesting story I got to talking with Nic and his brother actually attended New Tribes Bible Institute and Nic is wanting to go to aviation school to become a mission pilot. And those of you who know me when he said this my heart jumped and said, " maybe he's the one!!! maybe he's the one God has planned for me!!" So having Nic as my partner today was defiantly a PLUS ;) Anyways back to my story... So Nic and I started walking around the block and went to a couple of people's houses and nobody was home then we saw an old lady, 84 to be exact, out working in her garden and we said hi and we began talking, she let us in through the gate into her back yard and she gave me some tomatoes to take home and also invited me back to take rhubarb if I ever want some. She was a sweet old lady and in her simplicity I found so much wisdom. We talked with her for about 20 minutes, she was lonely. We asked if we could come back and visit her next week and she said yes, so next week we are going to work on her garden and some yard work to surprise her!!

Changes

2007-09-18T11:10:00.000-07:00

It's funny.. My life changes pretty frequently. New Agendas, new people, new places, new smells, new music, new tastes.

My dad once described me to a friend as a "gypsy"... There is truth to this statement.

I love when my life changes course, I love when I meet new people and it sets me off on a new path. Through all of this I get excited because I know God is moving me one step closer to His purpose for me.

I find myself full of passion... my heart seems like it's been beating faster lately.. almost like it's anticipating the excitement.. maybe it's beating to God's drum :)

I don't know what's in store for me, but I have no problem putting one foot forward to see if the other is going to follow.

Please pray for me as there is a lot of changes that are occurring in my life.

Amazing, and so true

2007-09-12T10:48:00.001-07:00

Connor's Home!!!!!

2007-09-10T08:42:00.000-07:00

Hey Everybody Connor's Home!!!!! For those of you who don't know, my friend Sara was in the process of adopting Connor from Guatemala and last week she finally got the call that she could fly down and pick him up. She got to hold/see baby connor for the first time on Tuesday and they are now safely home in the United States. Her website is http://360.yahoo.com/nurse4babies01

Bike Trip!

2007-08-18T18:28:00.000-07:00

Today me and some of my closest friends went on a great bike trip! We biked for about 40 or so miles from Kalamazoo to South Haven!!! Check out the following pictures.

Leaving...

2007-08-06T10:42:00.000-07:00

It's official, I will be leaving for Wisconsin in mid-January to attend New Tribes Bible Institute. When I first graduated from High School I went to NTBI (new tribes bible institute) but I left my first semester due to things I needed to work out in my life. A couple of years later and God is still working on me, but I am now ready to head back to NTBI. I am excited, but sad to be living hours away and leaving the people I love.

Prayer Requests:

*Please pray for my family and friends
*Pray that I will find a church in Wisconsin
*Pray that God will continue to work in me and weed out things in my life that shouldn't be
*Pray for a great and wonderful replacement for me at my work

Skydiving!

2007-07-29T19:03:00.000-07:00

Slide Show

2007-07-01T05:54:00.000-07:00

NYC - Day 3 (and a little bit of 2)

2007-06-05T21:04:00.001-07:00

I spit on nikki's shoe...

M&M Store

Yup, that is all M&Ms

Grand Central Station

New York Mets Game (they lost)

Nikki and I on top of the Empire State Building

Statue of Liberty

Me enjoying the view
Nikki :)

New York City - DAY TWO

2007-06-04T16:13:00.001-07:00

Today we were on our own... We thought we knew what we were doing, we thought we knew which subway we were taking, but it turns out we didn't... (it was fun!!!) Anywho, we went to The New York Aquarium in brooklyn/coney island. We went to NYA mostly because it was pouring down rain all day today.. check out the photos
Nikki at the Aquarium

Walrus (he was showing off for us)

Sea Turtle

These Little Dudes Were

Cool To Watch

The View From Our Hotel Room

Stopping For Breakfast In NYC
HAHAHA (RATED R)

CONEY ISLAND HOT DOGS ARE GOOOD

New York City - DAY ONE

2007-06-03T17:25:00.001-07:00

It has been a great day! We went to Central Park and strolled around for awhile, China Town, Little Italy for lunch, St. Patrick's Cathedral and we topped our night off with Max Brenners (yuuuuummmmmm)

Nikki's First Subway Ride

Swiping Her Metro Card

A Neat Truck

Dad Eating In Little Italy

Max Brenner's (willy wonka)

Chocolate Fountains and Pipes of Chocolate

Through the whole restaurant

St. Patrick's Cathedral

Beatles

Squirrel

2007-05-03T16:00:00.000-07:00

Today Koa and I saw a Squirrel. He looked at us for a long time... it was strange, but neat!

I LOVE THIS GIRL!!

2007-05-01T20:23:00.000-07:00

A note about our neighborhood...(from nate)

2007-04-29T17:26:00.000-07:00

Hey beautiful people,

We need your prayers! Vanguard is in the middle of some very difficult times and we need everyone who knows how to pray, to pray for our city and the neighborhoods we are working in. Let me explain.Gang activity in Kalamazoo, historically, hasn’t been too intense. Sure we have had our share of murders, shootings, and drug activity, but overall the situation has not been as violent and chaotic as a lot of other cities. But over the past two years the hostility between the young men of the south side of Kalamazoo and the young men of the north side of Kalamazoo has intensified. Last year there were 357 calls to the police department for shots fired. There were 22 homicides with a gun in the last seven years. From January through March of 2007 there has already been 85 calls to the police for shots fired, several homicides, and we’re not even to the summer yet. I personally believe that the enemy started setting us up for this moment generations ago, and here is how:Within the inner city neighborhoods there is an enormous void of fathers. There are boyfriends and uncles but fathers are few and far between. Vanguard did interviews at the Boys-n-Girls Club a few months ago and, of the 40-or-so kids we interviewed, ONE had a father in the home. ONE! Many of them only had a picture of him and had never met him in person. What am I saying? We have two whole neighborhoods (The north and south sides of Kalamazoo) full of fatherless young men. One thing I have learned about manhood is that it is conferred upon you by another man. When my sons want to know if they’re becoming strong, they don’t test it out on my wife. Yes they wrestle around with her sometimes but when they really want to test themselves out they come after me. They love hearing from their mom about how well they did during their football games, but regardless of what she says they ask me if they did good. My affirmation brings them into the belief that they have what it takes to become a man because another man of significance in their lives has told them so. This cannot be done by a woman. Can you see the connection? Two whole neighborhoods, full of fatherless young men, are trying to prove to themselves and to each other that they are men and have what it takes to be a man because there is no one to confer that manhood upon them. Throw a match like murder (which happened to a 14 year old young man last week) into an explosive situation like that and chaos is just down the road. The neighbors are almost hopeless. We were ministering in the neighborhood the boy was shot in, the day after his death. I have personally, never seen so much despair and hopelessness as I did on the faces of the mothers there. They are stuck in one of the only neighborhoods they can afford to be in and losing hope in the ability of the authorities in place to keep them or their families safe. Where does their help come from?The only answer is Our God working through the church. We have to be on our knees in prayer. But one thing about us that is different from them is that we are in different economic and social categories than they are. We are not touched with the feeling of their infirmities as Jesus was with ours. I minister in the neighborhood and get to see first hand what this does to the people living there. When I go to pray I feel the compassion of the Father for the young mothers who are worried sick for their sons. When I pray I see the tenseness in the faces of the teenage boys who shouldn’t have to worry about if they will see tomorrow. This encourages me to pray with a certain urgency which is missing from the prayers of those who are not privileged to minister in the areas I am. My request is this: when you get some time sit down in a chair and allow God to show you what it looks like to live in a situation like this. What does it look like to come home and see bullet holes through your living room window? What emotions go through you as you hear a commotion outside your kitchen window and find that your neighbor boy was just shot in the head at only 14 and you have two sons around that same age? What kind of frustrations would you feel as a single mother if you came home exhausted from work, to a home falling apart at the seams, with bills that exceed your income, and no father to share the burden of raising kids in this neighborhood? If you will take a minute to let God show you his heart in this matter your prayers cannot be the same for the people He cares about so much. And the urgency in your prayers will move His heart and He will not be slow in coming to the aid of people who don’t have any other advocate. We really need your help and your prayers!

I love you guys!
N8

2007-04-25T15:13:00.000-07:00

My Friend Sara Goheen wrote this on her blog...

We'll not always be on the top of the mountain, viewing all the wonderful things there are to see from way up there, the fresh air, the soft clouds. Darn those times in our lives when we go through the valleys (hurts, tears, struggles).. but we learn all God desires to teach us & where He molds us -- in that valley, so we can soak it all in from the Almighty, then move upward with boldness, courage, confidence, assurance.. toward the goal.. the peak... yeah, we'll sometimes take a few steps back, but only so that we can relearn something that may have slipped our mind.

Amen, Sara, Amen.

Words of Wisdom... (a very long post, i know)

2007-04-24T21:01:00.001-07:00

My little brother

(I don't know who the girl is)

It always humbles me when somebody gives me their words of wisdom. A couple weeks back, maybe even months back I posted a blog titled Passion Refocus (you can Click Here If you haven't read it) and my little brother replied and gave me his words of wisdom on what I had wrote. Here is what he had to say:

In response to your article Passion RefocusEveryone has a calling and you have always been conflicted with the fact that you dont feel for peoples pain where you've lived but the thing that i dont get is your idea that you should start with people around you before you can help people who are not around you. i just see it as you have much more of a calling to be in a place where you see that the problems are not trivial or simple. do you look at people around you and have a lack of compassion? or a lack of willingness to help? or both? philosophically i dont believe that the location of someone should be in any way influential on whether or not you should help them. i read in my philosophy book about whether you should give your money to someone in a different country or if you should use that money for the people where you live to help them out. i basically came to the conclusion that poverty should be dealt with wherever it might exist but if the extent of poverty in another country is worse than where you live you should first help them first instead of the people around where you live because the people around where you live are already living a better life than those in another country. i think that you might feel simalarly but in your case it's not your money but how much good you can do. and i think that the reason that you feel a longing for people in other countries is because you can see that they are worse off than the majority of people here in the US and an even bigger difference is that they dont have anyone that they forsee coming to help.... they have a lack of hope which i think you would like to give and most def. could give. dont worry about it rachele you will go to africa one of these days. even if that means that i have to help ya get there. love ya sis. ~jordan
-------
I love my brother! I have been struggling with this concept.. and when he wrote back to me it helped things come into focus. I do have a passion for people here, but it may not be as strong as a passion as I have for people overseas, but I shouldn't get that confused with lack of passion because that is not the case. (are you still following me? ha ha)

I'm sure all of you have stopped reading this by now, but those of you who haven't I will share this. I don't know what the future holds for me... I don't know if I will go back to New Tribes Bible Institute or if I will finish up my Social Work degree... I don't know what God's plans are for the future, but I do know that right now God is calling me to set aside those worries and to focus on two things; restoring relationships in my life and getting involved in the church and that is what I am going to focus on and with that I believe great things will happen.

The Story of My.... CAR

2007-04-13T16:09:00.000-07:00

I am very blessed to have my car. I remember being 16 and praying for my car.. having my church pray for a car for me.. and one day.. I got a car. I've had my Toyota since I've been 16 and I have not had to do anything to it until this winter and all that was needed was new breaks. I was once going to sell my car to my brother and he said, "I don't want it because the only thing holding that thing together is Jesus himself and it would break as soon as I got it." I always thought this was funny... but it is so true!

So here is the story of my car and what it has been through.

Picture #1 I was driving on a Highway and I heard this loud ::THUD:: it wasn't until I got home that I noticed that I got hit by a paintball gun and now there is a permanent mark on my car from it.
Picture #2 I was on a highway (again) and some guy decided to switch lanes... right into me.
Picture #3 Believe it or not.. this is a tire mark.. how.. i don't know. But my brother was backing up to get out of the driveway and apparently he thought I was the road.... :)
Picture #4 (my fault) I ran into a car.. oops (but no ticket!! because the people never stopped, they just kept on going)
Picture #5 (my fault... again) I ran into a bus... oops.. and the sad thing is that picture 4 and 5 happened in the same week..... (must have been a really bad week..) And once again I didn't get a ticket!!!
Picture #6 The story that made me post on the blog..... So today I was driving on Westnedge in K-zoo and Nikki was sitting in the passenger seat and she had her foot on the dash of the car.. chilling.. Apparently she thought I was too close to a car and it scared her and she hit her foot on the windshield and the windshield cracked/broke....... All I could do was laugh.. because this visual came in my head of the whole windshield being busted and gone and her and I having to buy motorcyle helments in order to drive my car!!!!! haha

2007-04-11T20:13:00.000-07:00

2007-04-01T20:49:00.000-07:00

PSALM 45:11

"The King is enthralled by your beauty..."

How amazing is that verse!

dove: campaign for real beauty

2007-04-01T20:45:00.003-07:00

dove evolution

2007-04-01T20:45:00.001-07:00

Faith Like A Child...

2007-04-01T15:16:00.000-07:00

(Photo borrowed)

Matthew 18:2-4
"He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. "

The kids at our church are on fire for God. Today we had a sermon and got to hear some of the things that are happening in the children's ministry. God tells us to have faith like a child... what does that mean?

Today during church the Kid's Ministry Leader shared this.

During kid's time they encourage the kids by letting them have quiet time and they are allowed to draw and are encouraged to ask God questions.

Well this little girl had been coming for three weeks and every week she would draw and it would say JESUS on her paper. The kid's leader (who was giving the sermon) said, "I was like ok.. there is power in the name of Jesus that must mean she is thinking about Jesus and this is good." well the next week the little girl did the same thing and the leader began to think, "is she not getting it??"

So then the leader felt prompted by the holy spirit to ask her about the drawing and the colors in which Jesus was written. the little girl replied, "I asked Jesus and God what their favorite colors are and God said Red and Jesus said Purple." The lady asked the little girl if she knew why God's favorite color was red and the little girl said, "because of Jesus' blood" and then the lady asked her if she knew why God's favorite color was Purple and she pondered it a little and wasn't sure why. The lady said, "Purple is the color of Royalty it was meant for a king. and the little girl said, "because Jesus is the KING"

There is tones more stories and the kids drawings were up EVERYWHERE!! it's amazing to see the holy spirit move in and through kids.

Africa

2007-03-24T20:03:00.000-07:00

My heart grows deeper and deeper for Africa; the land, the people, the culture. I wonder if I will ever visit there, I wonder . . . if I will ever live there

Koa

2007-03-15T20:38:00.000-07:00

B-I-N-G-O

2007-03-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went to the homeless shelter and helped some people play bingo. They were playing bible bingo and one of the squares was,"Love never fails". Now there were a lot of questions, but on this particular question the people started laughing and they were talking amongst themselves..... this got me to thinking... to them... some of them.. love has probably failed.

Wow.

oh.. when boredom rings...

2007-03-12T20:15:00.000-07:00

I'm not quite sure what I was trying to accomplish in this picture!

(I can't believe I am posting this pic)

(look at Nala, "get me the heck out of here!")

Oh my gosh... wow.. we were really bored

This is my fav! I love laughing!

um.. is she acting ghetto??

really there is no point to these photos..

Pictures

2007-03-11T18:00:00.000-07:00

Koa and Nala playing! They both really like playing together!

New Chairs and table!!

Frustrations...

2007-03-11T16:40:00.000-07:00

Frustrated. That is how I feel right now. It is not fun when you get into a fight with someone you love.. especially over things that are in the past.

.......

argh!

Sushi!

2007-03-02T21:46:00.000-08:00

Tonight I had sushi for the first time, it was yuuuuummmmmyyyy!

African Night/ Food fight....

2007-03-02T06:17:00.000-08:00

African Cusine

2007-02-27T07:41:00.000-08:00

This Thursday some friends and I are going to make some African meals! I am super excited. I am making a traditional Kenya meal called Ugali and I am also making a dessert called Kele Wele, hopefully they turn out yummy.

Also, I thought I would share this picture that I took the other day... It's really peaceful for me.. hopefully it can be a peaceful moment for you.

click here for more photos

Amazing Love..

2007-02-20T06:02:00.000-08:00

I think God is amazing. God can control everything. He could even control us to love Him if he wanted us to, but he doesn't and I think this is amazing. This shows amazing things about God's love!

God is a gentlemen and will never force you to do anything you don't want to do.
God realizes that forced love isn't true love and therefore he gives us all a choice. Some of us grow up being close to our fathers and some of us grow up hating our fathers we ultimately have a choice here on earth if we love or hate our earthly fathers. God in a sense gives us this same choice.. I wonder why we view it so different?

Some people view God as the type to strike you down any minute if you say the wrong thing or drink the wrong drink.. but look at this love... the CHOICE he gave us... isn't it amazing?

Ever hear the verse.. "and this is how you should pray Thy Father Who art in Heaven"? The word Father that is used in the original greek is Pater (I believe I spelled it right) this word means.. Dad, Daddy, Father, Pops.... Not God most high theees and thouss blah blah blah.... BUT SIMPLY DADDY! Next time you pray I encourage you to think of God as your DADDY.. possibly even start your prayer with, "Hey Daddy"..

It's all amazing to me!

Passion... Refocus..

2007-02-19T11:12:00.000-08:00

Church was great yesterday.. we talked about many things concerning the Kingdom of God...

We have written on our hearts a pull for the underdog.. something inside of us wants to help the underdog and we even pull for the underdog in ballgames... God has written this on every single one of our hearts.. this is what we are here for.. the underdog..

I have a passion.. I have a passion to seek the underdog.. the lost.. the broken.. I want so bad to be in New Guinea right now where all the riots are taking place.. I desire to be with those people as they are hurting.. I desire to be in Africa with the little kids who are dying of aids and don't understand why... I desire to be in Mexico with all the orphans who do not have people to call family..

Do I desire to be here? Do I desire to be in the US? Do I desire to reach the lost and the broken here?

Why does my heart not cry out for this country? I need to start here.. I need to desire my country.. the lost and broken here before I can go overseas and reach the lost and broken. I need to have a desire for my friends, family and neighborhood before I can truely have a desire for the lost and broken everywhere.

God, work in me.. teach me to have a heart for those around me, give me a burning desire to seek the lost and broken here.

The Heart

2007-02-14T10:14:00.001-08:00

"The heart has reasons even reason doesn't understand" --Jacques Benigne Bossuel

Yesterday . . .

2007-02-09T10:54:00.000-08:00

I really never knew the meaning of :The Truth Will Set You Free" until yesterday.... I encourage anybody who is holding in lies to let it out, tell someone about the lies that you've been living with.... get freedom... get cleansed.. tell someone!

I was holding on to a secret which I will not likely discuss in detail with anyone, but I let it go yesterday.. I took back that stronghold that the devil has had on me and now I have freedom.. I haven't felt this freedom in 5 years.. Do not become a slave to your sins.

Luke 8:16-18
"No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. Therefore consider carefully how you listen. Whoever has will be given more; who ever does not have, even what he thinks he has will be taken from him."

Koa

2007-01-31T06:27:00.000-08:00

Koa is getting so big! She is walking everywhere and talking about everything! The above is a recent photo of her. I made a blog for Koa so her family could keep up with all that she is doing, please feel free to take a look http://koasuarez.blogspot.com/

Update on Connor 5 months!!

2007-01-23T11:32:00.000-08:00

This is an update from Sara Goheen on her son who is in Guatemala

"On 1/18/07, Connor had his 5-month doctor's visit. He's doing sooo good!! Getting big He's now 14 lbs and 24.8" long, doing well. Please continue to keep him in your prayers as they said that the bio children o f the foster mother have chicken pox, but Connor doesn't. Please pray that he'll remain free from chicken pox or if he does get them, that it's a mild small case. He's doing well though, and my case worker says that things are moving along easily there, no news yet from the government end of it but no worries.... all is well"

Random Hope..

2007-01-11T17:38:00.001-08:00

Someday.. I will ride a camel.

Not enough time..

2007-01-10T10:34:00.001-08:00

I have been crazy busy, but I thought I would squeeze in a little note here..

Koa has been walking for a couple of weeks now!! She is sooooo proud of herself. She will walk a long ways and then she smiles and starts cracking up. I'm hoping to get some photos of her walking up soon for all of you to see. Koa has also been talking up a STORM.. I am once again called "DoDo" and I absolutely love it. For some reason that is the way my name comes out when little kids try to say it.

She is still super excited about trains and the next phase is teaching her the difference between the Detroit train and the Chicago train.

School has started back up again for me :( (there goes all my free time) I am taking Spanish this semester and I am really pumped up about it.

I made baked spaghetti last night, compliments to Rob for the recipe! It was delicous but not as good as his.

Ok... that's my life in a nutshell... OH WAIT.. I am watching "It's A Wonderful Life" tonight with my sister :)

-Rachele

When Theology becomes Doxology

2006-12-30T08:46:00.000-08:00

Somebody sent me an e-mail a long time ago and I finally just read it.. It was titled "When Theology becomes Doxology" The verse is Mary singing to the Lord.. This verse is amazing! I think it is a great Christmas verse and personally i think it would make a great Christmas eve sermon someday!

(this is mary's words)

My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
for the Almighty One has done great things for me--
holy is his name.
His mercy extends to those who fear him,
from generation to generation.
He has performed mighty deeds with his arm¡¦
He has helped his servant Israel,
remembering to be merciful
to Abraham and his descendants forever,
even as he said to our fathers (Luke 1:46-55

Christmas day in pictures....

2006-12-25T15:49:00.000-08:00

(we didn't get in trouble....)

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2006-12-25T09:59:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope your time is filled with fun and family! (and fooooooood)

2006-12-25T09:58:00.000-08:00

Lifehouse lyrics
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

Koa.

2006-12-21T09:49:00.001-08:00

Koa is going to see Santa today.

One World Currency...

2006-12-21T09:49:00.000-08:00

Revelation
16He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, 17so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name.

Maybe I am just slower then all of the rest of you, but the other day I was pondering over the one world currency thing.. Actually I thought about changing my ATM card to a Debit card so I didn't have to use cash anymore.. and I was like, "don't use cash" hmmmmm And my mind took off from there.

So I was thinking.. We are called the plastic generation because we don't use cash and we can use credit cards ALL OVER THE WORLD.. IT is almost like a one world currency.

Do you know how when you adopt a puppy from the humane society you have to put a microchip in them and when scanned it gives all their info.... Well I think this mark on our hand/forhead is almost like that and almost like the self-checkout at Wal-mart.. Just scan and pay for your merchandise... One world currency.. ANYBODY WITH ME ON THIS ONE??

Also, I got a funny image in my mind of people swiping their heads over and over again... HAHA that is kinda funny. And this could even happen to you -->

Congrats!

2006-12-18T09:03:00.000-08:00

My friends Sarah and Phillip are officially engaged!!!! Check out Sarah's site here http://www.xanga.com/berthascoffee

Connor's 3 month pictures!!

2006-12-17T18:36:00.000-08:00

Connor is still in Guatemala and by the pictures the host mom is taking GREAT care of him.

The Pets.. and stuff

2006-12-14T10:35:00.000-08:00

This is just a random picture from when we were hiking.

This is a picture of Yoshi

This is a picture of Nala and Belle... They just seemed to pose for me.. it was odd

This is a picture from the trails that me and my dad go on. The first dog is Ginger, the second is Sydney and the last little doggy is mine. nala

LOVE THIS SONG!

2006-12-13T12:02:00.000-08:00

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
Refrain:
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.
When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.
When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

more than just emotion...

2006-12-05T09:34:00.000-08:00

"I mean, thoughts are just chemicals of certain temperatures and shapes that go through our brains, and that makes it easy to dismiss them sometimes, but this was pretty intense."

A friend of mine wrote that to me in an e-mail after he was singing a song and it reminded him of The Passion when Jesus was on the cross and they said, "women, behold your son" ..... I think it is very interesting when things enter our minds and then leave very quickly... sometimes we were meant to dwell on it a little bit more..

That sentence above reminded me of last week..

Last week when the trees iced over and had that cool look... I was
walking to work and I was enjoying the trees so much
and then there was a branch that was weighed down so
it was in my way of the sidewalk.. i was going to go
around it, but at the same time I couldn't resist
touching it so I tapped it and it made that cool
crackling noice and I just started laughing.. I know
like he said it was probably a chemical going
through me that just made me giggle, but at the same
time I started thinking about that tree branch all the
way to work and how it made me laugh. I mean it was
no inside laugh .. I laughed right out loud and then I
started laughing at me laughing.. So on the rest of my
walk I was thinking about how simply you can see God
in things if you just look. He made my day by a
little tree branch that had ice on it the other day..
I could of so easily missed that it was Him who gave
that joy to me, but that day I didn't...

I wonder how many more thoughts I let pass me by without thinking about them.. I'm talking about the simplest of ones... E-mail me some of your simplest thoughts that you had today.. Forgiven_o@yahoo.com

God's Peace.. Understanding

2006-11-30T18:04:00.001-08:00

This is a post that Sara Goheen put on her blog. Please read. It's amazing how God can teach us something and sometimes we can feel it, but not understand it. God is amazing. What he is doing with and through Sara has been an amazing impact to me.

"November 27, 2006
I've been thinking & praying about what my case worker told me recently, that where I'm at in the process is usually a "dry spell."

So this morning, I remembered this passage in the Bible that talks about God making a way in the desert so I went ahead and dug into the Word to find that passage... here it is:

Isaiah 43: 18-21 (NIV) "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. The wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the desert and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise."

Here it in the Message translation, which I love!!!! "This is what God says, the God who builds a road right through the ocean, who carves a path through pounding waves, The God who summons horses and chariots and armies— they lie down and then can't get up; they're snuffed out like so many candles: "Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands. Wild animals will say 'Thank you!' —the coyotes and the buzzards—
Because I provided water in the desert, rivers through the sun-baked earth, Drinking water for the people I chose, the people I made especially for myself, a people custom-made to praise me."

I'd read this passage months ago and was thinking about it. And it reminds me that GOD IS WITH ME IN THE DESERT -- those times when nothing seems to be happening and you just cry out for God to speak to you. It's those times when you've looked back and seen that He was, in fact, there with you. This "dry spell" right now has been testing me. It's getting harder & harder as the process moves on, the more pictures & updates I get (be them ever so joyful -- to see my son grow up through pictures) the harder it gets. The more I want to kiss him & hold him! But I know that maybe the harder it gets for me, the more I am assured by God that He is holding Connor, has a special angel just for him watching over him. God is that "oasis" where I can rest, relax and enjoy life. I sit back and take it all in and enjoy this time he's given me to know him in a different way than previously. To know Him as a parent, that He has my best interest in mind, and also Connor's best in mind.

Deuteronomy 29:5-6 "During the forty years that I led you through the desert, your clothes did not wear out, nor did the sandals on your feet. You ate no bread and drank no wine or other fermented drink. I did this so that you might know that I am the LORD your God."

As much as I'd like everyone to know & be assured that I am at peace throughout this process, sometimes it's not for others to understand, some things I don't even understand therefore is hard to explain to others?!? Some people "get it." Others never will and that's okay. People that "get it" even if they've never walked a day in my shoes.... people who have never had children or been through the adoption process.... they are the ones who amaze me"

normal? abnormal?

2006-11-30T13:01:00.000-08:00

I thank God that I do not struggle when it comes to the subject of men. I thank God that I don't have to be in a relationship. I thank God that I haven't dated since 9th grade because I am waiting for the one. Yes, I had someone close to me who I thought was the one and we waited 3 years and almost decided to date, but the waiting was for a reason, we were not meant for each other. Do I get butterflies in my stomach thinking about "the one" yes I can't wait until that day, but I am also content if God has a life the opposite direction for me. And I am not saying that the next guy I date will automatically be the one, I am just saying I don't date just to date. I thank God everyday for this because I know how much of a struggle it can be for 99% of all the females out there.

God, thank you.

2006-11-30T12:59:00.000-08:00

I HAVE BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH

God...

2006-11-23T21:56:00.000-08:00

Ugh.. its killing me.. I want to be so close to you, yet I am so far away . . .

thanksgiving...EMERGENCY ROOM

2006-11-23T21:51:00.000-08:00

So Thanksgiving was interesting.. We were at my Grandmas for about 10 minutes when my Uncle walked.. umm no he hobbled into the house. He had fallen from a 20ft tree stand about 5 hours before he walked into the house.. He had a concusion so he didn't really know what was going on. We rushed him to the hospital and he had a collapsed lung and lots of cracked ribs and thats all we know right now. He is in great condition considering the 20ft fall.... please keep him in your prayers.. He doesn't know God, please also be praying for this. Thank yOU.

Oh and please be praying for the lady I met in the ER room tonight.. She was pulling the turkey out of the oven and all the grease fell on her fooooooooot ::ouch::

CONNOR FRED OSMAR GOHEEN

2006-11-16T21:40:00.000-08:00

Here is updated pictures of Connor (Sara Goheen's baby boy) he is now 2 months old!! Connor is currently in Guatemala waiting for all the papers to go through in order for Sara Goheen to adopt him and bring him HOME.

2006-11-15T20:01:00.000-08:00

I WANT MORE OF YOU.

Drunk.. Jibberish.. or is it?

2006-11-12T17:58:00.000-08:00

Recently I seen one of my friends drunk... As I watched he/she was talking to me about God.. He/She put their hands into the air (as if pointing to God) and was literally having a conversation with God. He/She said, " Do you know that I love you ::pause:: Do you know that I freaking love you?? Even though I'm not showing you do you still know I love you?! probably not."

It was amazing to see someone in that state of mind still talking to God. But at the same time it brought up a question...

Does God know we love him even though we are drunk? Is us saying we love him while we are drunk genuine? In fact, they say being drunk is like truth serume (s/p?) Could it possibly be even more genuine than when we are not drunk?

When I started to apply this to myself I thought... we need to fall.. in order to realize that we love God even in the deepest pit of our lives. I think it is the most genuine when you are "drunk" when you hit rock bottom and you say, "lord pick me up again.." Those times make it GENUINE for the times we are not drunk.

p.s
this is by no means an encouragement to go get drunk.

ouch.

2006-11-08T19:11:00.000-08:00

I fell down the stairs today... It hurt...

"The Servant's Journey"

2006-11-04T09:13:00.000-08:00

Am I really a "servant"... I would love to consider myself a servant, but do I do anything a servant would do? No.

I've been in a weird spot lately. It is so easy to get in the "church trap" (as i would like to call it) of everything being fantastic. "how are you today"
"Oh i am doing great, you?" etc.. etc..

So this got me thinking.. How come you lie to the people who are suppose to lift you up.. is it shame? is it the notion that christians are "perfect"?? and therefore they don't have any weaknesses? Or is it that if we tell what we are struggling with we might be a bad example to non-believers? But in reality isn't that a false example to non-believers; us betraying we are perfect?? WHAT IS IT!? Is this hindering the church? Is this stopping us from becoming the servants God has called us to be?

I have recently been disobeying God. A struggle as some call it. So I decided I am done with telling people a lie about how I am doing. Well first let me explain this to you. My family has a generational curse of lying (more so than that just ordinary families have).. and so this is where this is all stemming from ( i am sorry if I am jumping around too much and you can't catch on..) Why lie? So I tried just telling the truth about how I was doing no hidden secrets about me.. Even though people don't want to hear "the truth" and they are some what shocked by not getting the everyday response "i'm perfect" it has helped me to recover faster from my struggles.. instead of me burrying it in shame and it growing faster and faster and manifesting itself in me I let it surface (maybe not always verbally) and it helps me to not feel so much shame when I get down on my knees and pray.

I feel that God doesn't really like our struggles, but at the same time I thinki he is more upset by us lying about them and not just dealing with them.

I guess this is totally two different topics... Revealing and the servant paragraph I was talking about at the top of this blog.. sorry. so much is on my mind.

I'm ready for a change. I am ready for me and the rest of the world to get off their butts and become servants.. put our selfish struggles behind; get them out to the public, learn about them, and get past it.. put it behind and start serving.

If it doesn't make sense e=mail me at Forgiven_o@yahoo.com and maybe I can explain it better.

Hiking

2006-10-20T09:33:00.000-07:00

I am going hiking and camping (in a tent) this weekend. My dad and I are going to Hocking Hills in Ohio.

I am really starting to get into hiking and I am glad that my dad is doing it with me. We have plans to hike some of the Appalachian (s/p?) trails next summer/fall so if anybody has any suggestions of where to start on the Apps. let me know! Or If anybody has any other hiking places that they reccomend whether here in Michigan or all the way in Africa let me know. :)

p.s

I would like to get an update on how everybody is doing so please post a comment or e-mail me at Forgiven_o@yahoo.com

Connor Fred Osmar Goheen

2006-10-20T08:27:00.000-07:00

Sara Goheen writes

"Here are 2 new pictures I got yesterday of Connor at 5 weeks old!!! :) He went for a check-up and weighed in at 7lbs, 12oz and is now 20.8" long... gained 2 lbs and stretches almost 3 inches! :D He's growing, slow but sure :) hehehe!! In one of these pictures, it looks like he's waving at Mommy ;) I'll email more later.. I have like 8-9 new ones :) Also.... on the 25th, he'll be 2 MONTHS OLD!!!!! :) Thanks to all of you for your prayers, love & support!!!! God bless!!!

Love, Sara :D"

Updates.. The Fam..

2006-10-15T20:35:00.000-07:00

These are some pictures that I wanted to share with all of you. For those of you who don't know I have been a nanny for awhile now and I love it more and more everyday. Here is a few pictures of the family that I nanny for.

Also, I FOUND A CHURCH!!!!!!!!!! Here is the link http://www.theriver.info/

This is Koa playing in the water up North.

This is Koa just playing in the grass.

On the Left is Zaria (Koa's older sister) Zaria is such a great big sister to Koa. On the right is Gabe (Koa's mother aka my boss)

This is Zaria and her best friend B

This is Koa and her daddy

TIME..

2006-09-28T13:20:00.000-07:00

Wow how time passes by.. Koa is 10 months old today!!! She is growing so quickly. She is such a beautiful baby.

My friends Sarah and Phil, they are from New Tribes Bible Institute, are (hopefully) coming to K-zoo this weekend!!! I am going to try mountain boarding for the first time this weekend with them... Not to be confused with snow boarding.. It's like a mix between snowboarding and skateboarding. I'm excited... I hope I don't break any bones.

CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU GUYS!!

STATS

2006-09-23T06:03:00.000-07:00

(read last entry to get caught up) Sara Goheen writes:

"The stats are in!!! Here are the exact details on Connor!!! He was actually born August 25th (not the beginnig of the month like I thought I heard my case worker tell me.. I was reallyyyy excited haha). He weighed 5 lbs 12 oz and was 18.5 inches long!!!! :D He's so darn cute!!!! And here comes the waiting. I can endure it though. The end result will be worth it all when I hold him forever :)"

Adoption is an amazing thing.. Isn't it?

CONNOR IS BORN!!!

2006-09-22T12:45:00.000-07:00

My friend Sara Goheen is a mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sara has been going through the adoption process to adopt a baby boy from Guatemala. She filled out the last of her paperwork and less than a week later ( I think) SHE HAS A REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Which means she has pictures of a baby boy and she can either accept him or decline him. .. and of course she accepts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was born in August so that puts him at about 8 weeks old!!!!!!! CONGRATS SARA!!!!!!!!

Prayer. The baby, Connor, has a small heart murmur.. It shouldn't be a big deal and he should grow out of it, but please keep him in your prayers. Sara will be getting updates here and there.. medical updates and pictures of Connor until she can go to Guatemala and pick him up which is probably going to be about 6 months from now. I know that is FOREVER, but welcome to immigration. Please be praying for patience for Sara as this time goes by and all she has is pictures of her baby.

YAAAAAAAA SARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!