God's Peace.. Understanding

This is a post that Sara Goheen put on her blog. Please read. It's amazing how God can teach us something and sometimes we can feel it, but not understand it. God is amazing. What he is doing with and through Sara has been an amazing impact to me.

"November 27, 2006
I've been thinking & praying about what my case worker told me recently, that where I'm at in the process is usually a "dry spell."

So this morning, I remembered this passage in the Bible that talks about God making a way in the desert so I went ahead and dug into the Word to find that passage... here it is:

Isaiah 43: 18-21 (NIV) "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. The wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the desert and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise."

Here it in the Message translation, which I love!!!! "This is what God says, the God who builds a road right through the ocean, who carves a path through pounding waves, The God who summons horses and chariots and armies— they lie down and then can't get up; they're snuffed out like so many candles: "Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands. Wild animals will say 'Thank you!' —the coyotes and the buzzards—
Because I provided water in the desert, rivers through the sun-baked earth, Drinking water for the people I chose, the people I made especially for myself, a people custom-made to praise me."

I'd read this passage months ago and was thinking about it. And it reminds me that GOD IS WITH ME IN THE DESERT -- those times when nothing seems to be happening and you just cry out for God to speak to you. It's those times when you've looked back and seen that He was, in fact, there with you. This "dry spell" right now has been testing me. It's getting harder & harder as the process moves on, the more pictures & updates I get (be them ever so joyful -- to see my son grow up through pictures) the harder it gets. The more I want to kiss him & hold him! But I know that maybe the harder it gets for me, the more I am assured by God that He is holding Connor, has a special angel just for him watching over him. God is that "oasis" where I can rest, relax and enjoy life. I sit back and take it all in and enjoy this time he's given me to know him in a different way than previously. To know Him as a parent, that He has my best interest in mind, and also Connor's best in mind.

Deuteronomy 29:5-6 "During the forty years that I led you through the desert, your clothes did not wear out, nor did the sandals on your feet. You ate no bread and drank no wine or other fermented drink. I did this so that you might know that I am the LORD your God."

As much as I'd like everyone to know & be assured that I am at peace throughout this process, sometimes it's not for others to understand, some things I don't even understand therefore is hard to explain to others?!? Some people "get it." Others never will and that's okay. People that "get it" even if they've never walked a day in my shoes.... people who have never had children or been through the adoption process.... they are the ones who amaze me"